YES

greelin:

newtgeiszler:

but can you do math?

don’t. don’t do this to me

arkhamkjay:

ilovemusicalyy:

@senpun

legionoftuna:

lesbuchanan:

Summer Olympics: Who can run the fastest? :) Who can swim the fastest? :) Who can do the best somersault? :) 

Winter Olympics: WHO CAN MAKE IT TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS ICE SLIDE OF DEATH AND SURVIVE?? WHO CAN GET AROUND THE RINK WITHOUT GETTING THEIR HANDS SLICED OFF BY EVERYONE ELSE’S FEET BLADES?? CAN THIS GUY DO A 1080 DEGREE FLIP WITHOUT DYING?? 

Summer Triathlon: Don’t run too fast, you have to save your energy for a swim and a bike ride! :)

Winter Biathlon: I see you’ve been skiing for five miles now here’s your gun

a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy:

a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy:

a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy:

a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy:

I just got an e-mail about being a pyrotechnics advisor for a beater derby, and it seems like a sweet gig, but I’m just not confident in my ability to bullshit my way through this one.

Sometimes people will send me job offers for stuff I’ve never done before, and I like, run to the library and learn how to do it real quick, but something tells me I can’t just speedrun being director of fire.

In high school, I did the costumes for theatre club and did such a sick job that I made the paper, but the thing is, I had only sewn a handful of things before, but luckily I was wearing the most impressive one when they asked if I could make some things.

I built a mechanical hand for a production of Evil Dead using one of those wooden artist models and a few robotics guides and some scrap parts from toys. There was a mix-up where they interpreted “theatre experience” and “coding experience” (should you put things you did at science camp on a resume?? No! Do I? Yes!) as meaning I could build them theatre robots. But I kind of knew how to make things, and I kind of knew how theatre happened, so it was fine.

I even got into taxidermy because I could sew and briefly worked as an organ player at my mother’s funeral home, and someone was like, “Oh, you worked at a funeral home and can sew. I bet you’re good at this.” I was not! But I kind of knew how to put things together from the time I bullshitted a robot, so I was like, “Yeah, I can articulate a skeleton I bet probably.”

“You did taxidermy and costuming? Make me jewelry out of bones!” Oh, fuck me, okay, man, I uhh. Gimme a second.

“You juggled for kids birthday parties and you want to be a librarian? You’re good with kids and education! Tutor my child in math.” Uhh. Yeah, absolutely. I know. I know how to teach, maybe. I, uh. Aw, shit. Yeah, I’ll do it.

“You built a remote control hand and did a half-assed spray paint job on a beater derby car before? How about we make you MASTER OF THE FLAMES?” You know what, bud, I’m gonna pass on that one for now.

Actually, I think maybe I’m being a little bitch. I bet I could make this work with, like, two hospital trips tops.

Me, lighting a dress on fire: Oh, fuck yeah, dude, this is just like in Avatar.